Tomorrow

Just thought I would sit for a moment and reflect. I know that the procedure isn't supposed to be a big deal but knowing that it is indeed tomorrow is a bit stressful. I have a few angry feelings popping up -- like having to wean Corwin who is not so happy about it either or the fact that this weekend was more work than fun -- I sat with the baby in my lap trying to clean my office while the rest of my family relaxed or trashed in the rest of my house. I blew my top in frustration about 7pm last night. I was tyring to cook and had no counters or table to work on. I was at the scrapbook store on Saturday followed by the grocery store. The 3.5 hours I was gone was the longest I have been away from the baby. Which then hit me like a ton of bricks that I will not see him for over 24 hours -- and I sat in the floor and cried.



I know they say it is a minor risk type procedure and act like it is just as routine as an oil change -- but every once in a while I get the nice thought of -- I could be the first to have a problem severe enough that I die. And the whole idea ticks me off and upsets me. Do I really think I will? No, I had a blessing that I would have successful treatment. But unlike having kids or some other procedures, I don't know what to expect and more importantly, I have to leave my baby.

Anyway -- had to get that off my chest.